Every 14 Days...(25)

It's the Christmas Special...in mid-March!

Christmas Special obviously referring to this edition covering the books I received as Christmas presents last year. And seeing as I can't read five books in one day - though that would have an amazing impact on my days per book rate - this Christmas Special arrives in Spring.

Dead Funny: Horror Stories by Comedians (Edited by Robin Ince and Johnny Mains)

'Dead Funny' comes from the theory that good horror always comes with a generous helping of black humour. What can only be described as a charity gig of British comedians has, therefore, been assembled, each tasked to write a short horror story that will have us screaming with both laughter and terror. This of course doesn't really happen.

The sixteen stories can be categorised into one of three groups: the silly comedy, aiming more for laughs than scares (Reece Shearsmith, Richard Herring, Michael Legge, Danielle Wheeler); the psychological black humour (Stewart lee, Phill Jupitus, Rufus Hound, Robin Ince, Al Murray); and the greater attempts at horror writing (Mitch Benn, Matthew Holness, Neil Edmond). There are then those that just don't fit the horror or humour categories, largely due to my lack of respect for the comedian.

As with any short story collection, the level of quality varies throughout, ranging from the very strong to those that can just be glossed over and forgotten. Notable mentions go to Stewart Lee's 'A View from a Hill' blurring the lines between reality and fiction to mess with his audience's minds, as ever, and Mitch Benn's 'The Patient'.

There are obviously more laughs on offer here, and some maybe show that writing fiction isn't their strong point, with some stories falling off by the end. But that's not why this was bought for me - it was to make me laugh, which it did. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL (in a ghost voice).

Days to read: 14

Days per book: 15.0

Thinking About it Only Makes it Worse (David Mitchell)

No, not that one. This David Mitchell likes a good moan, and this is a book full of his moanings that he writes for the Observer. 'Tis quite the standard for comedians these days to publish books of their collected ramblings for whichever broadsheet they write.

Often, these are entertaining, short nuggets of thought from comedic minds. Though coming from a collection of years worth of writing, they can be sometimes inconsistent and ask you to think back to that time when the horse meat scandal was all the news knew existed.

I've always subscribed to the thought of Mr Mitchell, and this book is no different, providing wit, insight and moments of outrageous cynicism to entertain. This probably didn't tickle me quite as much as his holiday chum Charlie Brooker's books - though this didn't come with free tickling gloves - but still raises a smile with thoughts that make things better.

Days to read: 20

Days per book: 15.0

Captain of Hungary (Ferenc Puskas)

It's hard to believe, but 1950s Hungary was the Premier League hair salon of its day. The 'Magnificent Magyars' as they were dubbed were the international team to beat (if you're West German), with an unbeaten run that stretched forever and a day, as they proved the greatest team never to win the World Cup...after the England team featuring Danny Mills, of course.

It was common for members of the squad to release an autobiography in their mid-twenties, cashing-in on their fame, much like even the least interesting Premier League (non) star will do today. What's probably different here, however, is that this book is about football. Strange to think that, an autobiography by a football player at the height of his fame, but it is. Very little is about off field activities, with focus largely on his skill and how amazing a talent he was, and how the opposition's style of play led to their defeat. There are chapters dedicated to single games, namely their defeat of England at Wembley and the 1954 World Cup final.

This book is only part of the story, his days playing in Hungary when he was part of the best international team around. This is the days before his move to Real Madrid and the success that followed there.

A man that now has the FIFA goal of the year competition named after him, there's no doubt that he was good. And Puskas definitely alludes to this writing with an arrogance/knowledge of his own ability. Written approximately sixty years ago, it shows that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Days to read: 8

Days per book: 14.9

Ayoade on Ayoade: A Cinematic Odyssey (Richard Ayoade)

Hello, my name is Withheld and I've never seen a film directed by Richard Ayoade. That's not exactly many, but I do feel it still qualifies me to read a book he has written about film making. But this isn't exactly a normal film book about normal films.

'Ayoade on Ayoade' is a supposed collection of interviews between Ayoade and an alter-ego Ayoade about film. But, if his interview with Krishnan Guru-Murphy on Channel 4 News is anything to go by, he doesn't exactly do interviews.

What this becomes, therefore, is a random collection of obscure thoughts that always trail off, full of sarcasm and post-irony. It's clear that Ayoade is being subversive here, discussing bad Eighties films and obscure references to Nineties music that teach us little about his real thoughts on directing.

But within this there is a clear lampooning of the film industry and the character types that inhabit it, hiding what his thoughts on good filmmaking are behind mocking of bad.

Or have I just made all this up?!

All-in-all, I'll give this twenty-seven thumbs up on a scale from one unspecified number to another.

Days to read: 13

Days per book: 14.9

For Richer, For Poorer: Confessions of a Player (Victoria Coren)

Having read her husband's new book, I had show that I believe in equality and read Victoria Coren-Mitchell's (then just Victoria Coren) book about her life and times as a millionairess poker player.  

Now, I don't really play poker, never in fact, and so this book is of little interest to me. But being that 'Only Connect' is the best show in television, I simply had to read it.

As expected from the lady herself, it is a book full of wit and charm, charting her rise from chubby teenager joining in her brother's poker games to European Poker Champion, winning a fair amount of money along the way. Being that this is about the world of poker, a lot is lost on me or in language I don't understand, so parts drag or seem a little repetitive, when they probably are anything but. For much of this she is as much observer than player, focusing on the characters, personalities and superstars that the 'sport' has created, herself a lowly player who used her comedy and journalistic skills to become a celebrity poker player.

The book builds to her European success, as her playing career progresses, though now poker celebrity is just one of the many hats she wears, big Stetsons, of course.

Days to read: 18

Days per book: 14.9 

It Only Happens in the Movies - Japanese Cinema and Encounters

Ahhh, one of my favourite times of the year: Yes, it's that time of year when the Japan Foundation of London put on their annual touring film programme. Another late January, another spurious theme keeping a collection of Japanese films together to I will spend a week doing my best to see as many of as possible.

This year the theme is one of encounters in cinema - those chance meetings of individuals that probably don't hold much base in reality, but often appear in movies, doing their best to keep the expectations of the youth of tomorrow massively confused...as Charlie Brooker's 'How TV Ruined your Life' brainwashed me to believe.

Play on...

Wood Job

Kicking off the theme of ‘it only happens in the movies’ encounters was ‘Wood Job’, directed by Shinobu Yaguchi, he of ‘Waterboys’ fame, who stuck around for some jet-lagged Q&A. This is a classic ‘fish out of water’ movie with the young Tokyoite, Yuki, choosing to spend a year learning forestry because he ‘got wood’ over the girl on the brochure’s cover. Starting off as a weakling, he soon develops into a full-fledged ‘mountain man’ under the guidance and constant kicking of Iida. Having found this new status, he must find his new bride: the girl on the brochure cover, who it just so happens has a thing for boys from Tokyo who come to learn forestry.  

All of this is atypical coming-of age romance fodder, that would, of course, never happen in real life. But, like ‘Waterboys’ before it, ‘Wood Job’ is a comedy, not to be taken too seriously. The title is a clear double entendre, referring to both his new working life and the various phallic references made throughout, with the unlikely duo of Yuki and Iida earning laughs from their differences, much like a bad stand-up routine.

But thankfully ‘Wood Job’ has a bit more to it than creating an unnatural scenario for easy laughs. Yaguchi‘s extensive interviewing with real woodsmen in small mountain villages leads to quite an accurate portrait of their work, with the actors tasked with learning the trade for themselves for added authenticity. Yaguchi also makes use of the naturally isolated setting of the village for some excellent cinematography in parts, particularly Yuki and ‘s climbing of trees to collect seeds, leading to some visually stunning moments.

‘Wood Job’ is a perfect selection for the theme, being that the scenario is rather unlikely. Though with Yaguchi choosing to add some touches of authenticity, the film strays from becoming an unbelievable cliché, forming both an entertaining and cinematic piece.

‘Wood Job’. Good job.

My Little Sweet Pea

'My Little Sweet Pea', as the title suggests, is a film that tries to create a huge amount of emotion, but in doing so ends up leaving the viewer with little real feeling at all.

Mugiko's life is going nowhere fast. Living with her brother in their family home now their father has died, one day their mother arrives unexpectedly seeking to move back in. But, having walked out on them when they were young, both are reluctant, before agreeing that her addition to their financial security is best all round. But soon, their mother dies of cancer and Mugiko is tasked with taking her ashes to her home town to rest.

Upon her arrival, the whole town is amazed by her resemblance to the local celebrity that was her mother and all flock to be by her side and force her to sing, as her mother would have. The more she learns, the closer to her estranged mother she starts to feel, before feeling strong enough of character to finally enrol in voice acting school.

Immediately, parallels with Tetsuya Nakashima's 'Memories of Matsuko', where hapless slacker Sho cleans out his recently deceased aunt's apartment, meeting the colourful characters of her past as he does.

But 'My Little Sweet Pea' just isn't a particularly interesting film. Mugiko's developing a relationship with a similarly estranged mother is too obvious a plot device, with Mugiko using her as an object for venting her frustrations. Indeed all the characters are a bit too convenient for the film's aims, pointing us to one conclusion, which by the time it arrives, you've lost a little interest.

Jinx!!!

If the theme was ‘It only happens in the movies’ then ‘Jinx!’ is a film that is positively self-aware.

Moving from Korea after the death of her boyfriend in a traffic accident, Ji-ho is an exchange student at a Tokyo University, where for no initially explained reason she latches on to the quiet and reserved Kaede and seems determined to do all her broken Japanese can to get her laid. The object of this forced desire comes in the form of Yusuke, a young man that Kaede has had a crush on since school. But, with both keen to play to role of annoyingly awkward virgins, Ji-ho has her work cut out for her.

Ji-ho then turns to the technique that her boyfriend used to win her heart: the movies. Forcing each to practice the lines from any old rom-com rubbish you can name separately, her aim is that the hapless pair will soon become the hopeless romantics of your favourite bad movie, as she struggles in silence to overcome the death of her love.  

Ji-ho is a typical movie character of one that throws themselves into something in order to forget their past, while Kaede and Yusuke are a standard unspoken fancying couple that are too awkward to make anything happen. Indeed, it’s probably how both let Ji-ho distract them with re-enacting scenes from famous movies that sees the relationship fail to develop naturally, with both more focused on rehearsing their lines than speaking with one another.

The film climaxes with its own attempt at a classic rom-com scene – though it may be stolen from another film, it’s not like I watch rom-coms, apart from this one – to bring things full circle, as Ji-ho comes to terms with her loss. In just under two hours?! Only in the movies, hey?!

Short Peace

‘Short Peace’ is four short pieces of animation from a collection of names that you may mention. Introduced by anime expert, Helen McCarthy, who – possibly cashing in on a topical cinema release – went all ’96 shades of red’ over Katsuhiro Otomo in praise of the Akira director’s contribution. Released as a five piece in Japan, with a computer game making up the final 20%, the four shorts are directed by the aforementioned Otomo, Hiroaki Ando, Hajime Katoki and Shuhei Morita, in no particular order.   

Starting with Morita’s Oscar-nominated ‘Possessions’ , we see some great animation as a traveller stumbles across a strange house where the objects within come to live. There is no real story here, but some creative animation with good visuals and colours make it arguably the strongest piece.

Otomo's 'Combustible' is equally inventive, taking cues more from Japanese woodblock paintings more than animation. A scroll roles across the screen as the story unfolds of a little girl whose love for her fire fighter neighbour grows as she becomes a women. Being a short, the story develops a little too fast, but visually this is another good work from an anime master.

'Gambo': Just plain weird.

'A Farewell to Arms' fills the need in anime to have something post-apocalyptic. A group of soldiers travel wastelands, though come across an automated tanks which attacks them, causing endless gunshots in battle, though the conclusions brings with it comic twist.

Being shorts, little really develops in each story, though it's an interesting, if not mixed bag of entertainment.

Handsome Suit

'Handsome Suit' is as silly as the name would suggest. Fat, definitely hideously ugly chef Takuro is a fat and ugly chef. All his friends know this fact and all the neighbourhood children are quick to remind him whenever he walks past. His love life is non-existent, confirmed when his advances on his diner employee are pushed back. So, when an apologetically handsome man offers him the chance of a suit that will solve all his ugly problem, he is instantly attracted to his new self, genitalia and all.  

In true 'Shallow Hal' style, Takuro soon learns that looks aren't everything and that you should look at the thin git within a fat git rather than basing love purely on looks. It's one of those revelations that's too obvious to be interesting or important a conclusion to make, as 90% of Hollywood films suggest. The film, therefore, needs to be a fun ride to get us no steps forward in life.

Luckily 'Handsome Suit' is silly enough for this. A world where man have to apologise for their handsomeness, while maintaining a straight face. Comedian Muga Tsukaji takes the lead, supported by shagging-the-writer Miyuki Oshima of recent 'Fuku-chan of FukuFuku Flats' fame.

This is a movie only world, of impossible situations and even more unbelievable silliness. But fun is fun, and this is a film.

'Let's handsome!'

As a theme, the films selected support the idea that a lot of encounters that we see in the movies are truly unbelievable and are unlikely to ever really happen. Largely because we're all too busy sitting around watching films to meet actual people.

The Touring Film programme now travels to the rest of the UK, so if you live in Bristol, Belfast, Sheffield, Birmingham, Dundee, Newcastle, Edinburgh, Kendal or Nottingham, what are you doing reading this?! You can't read!

January Scouting: Usami Takashi

22, played for Bayern Munich in the Champions' League as a teenager, not afraid of a shot...go annnnnnnnnnnnnn...

Every 14 Days...(24)

The Double (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)

Suppose I should read some Dostoyevsky in my life. Especially when it's two for £3.99.

With 'The Double' recently made into a film by Mr. Gadget Man himself, Richard Ayoade, I thought this would be a good place to start. Maybe it wasn't. The film met mixed reviews, as did the original story itself, even from the man himself.

A civil servant is one day shocked to find a 'double' of himself now working at his office, though the polar opposite to many of his negative traits. Soon, the 'original' finds himself behind his clone in work and social life, leading to a bitter conflict and an inevitable decent into madness.

The idea is a strong one, though the execution is maybe not always the best, not always a great read, though conveys the frustration, anger and madness that the 'double' creates in the story's hero. The humour in the writing is also good, with long-winded repeating of phrase. But towards the story's conclusions, you felt perhaps more could have been done with the idea.  

Days to read: 18

Days per book: 15.0

The Last Holiday (Gil Scott-Heron)

Gil Scott-Heron is a poet, and I know it. As one of the unofficial godfathers of rap, he is a master of words, and so I expect nothing less from his memoir. But as a memoir, this is a little confused. Released posthumously, it was always going to be more a sum of parts rather than a whole, and the supposed focus is not always apparent.

The idea was for it to focus around his part in Stevie Wonder's 'Hotter than July' tour in the early Eighties - a tour promoting Martin Luther King's birthday being made a national holiday - but before he could get there, he chose to tell the story of how he got to be there first. This results in the book essentially being an out-and-out autobiography up to a certain point in his life, but then sees several leaps in time over the next thirty years.

So, this may not necessarily be as it's billed, but this is jazz, baby. His writing doesn't need any structure, with his lists of adjectives flowing poetically off the page. There are indeed lots of poetry breaks throughout, almost as summations of the moment, like a haiku, but within the main body the words flow like a song.

This makes for a joyful read about his upbringing, his father who played or Celtic and the start of both his writing and music careers, edited and cobbled together for your listening pleasure.

Days to read: 19

Days per book: 15.0

The Strange Library (Haruki Murakami)

'The Strange Library' isn't really a new Murakami work, being that it dates from Japan in 1982, released as a short story of a different name. But it has now made its way to English translation, released as a illustrated children's book...which is probably why it was so quick for me to read, being that it is actually a book aimed at my reading level.

A young boy enters a library, returning some books, wanting to take out some more. He is sent to a strange reading room, where his reading of books is demanded by a strange old man, and of course, a sheep man - a Murakami favourite. Looked away and forced to read as much as possible about Ottoman Empire tax collecting, he worries that his mother will wonder why he has not returned home in time for dinner.

This book is less about its story, however, and more about the English translation which illustrates the story using images from The London Library and other collections. This make it more of a strange art piece than children's short story, making it interesting to look at, though the story flies by the images with ease.

Days to read: 1

Days per book: 14.9

Notes from Underground (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)

Yay! Hundredth book spectacular! So, it's just over four years since I started this pointless experiment. By now, I should have reached a little over one hundred books read. I'm a little off that target, having just reached one hundred exactly.

Not exactly a celebratory piece to mark the moment, 'Notes from underground' is a dark read about a middle-aged man, made bitter by the modern world, living underground providing us with a lecture as to the world's wrongs, before we are shown examples from his earlier life of experiences that led him to where he now resides.

The story is in two clear halves: the first a long, rambling critique of society; the second stories from his younger life. The first half proves a difficult read, with long rants in hard to digest chunks, though provides some interesting insights throughout. The book's second half is both an easier read and brings it back to life, as I felt myself often drifting into the depths of lost concentration in the first half. Here we see stories and characters brought in - and they are welcome - working as examples of the narrator's decent into the man he has now become, trapped in a St Petersburg basement.

This is an interesting read, an at-time-difficult read, but ultimately rewarding one, providing a criticism of early modernist society.

Here's to the next hundred...urgh...

Days to read: 13

Days per book: 14.9

The Grandmaster

The last time the great Wong Kar-wai released a feature-length film was back in 2007 - only his second film in seven years - and I wish he hadn't bothered. 'My Blueberry Nights' just annoyed me from start to finish. While, as with any Wong film, it looked good, his brush with Hollywood dragged, with bland music and even more bland characters, making his usual themes and styles seem pretentious. After watching it, I came away almost liking Jude Law for bringing the only it of charisma to the film, but also wondering if all of his films had been like this, I just didn't notice because of the language barrier.

After many rumoured English-language films, his next feature-length work is a return to Hong Kong (eventually), a reunion with his foremost leading man, Tony Leung Chiu-wai, and a return to his brief flirts with kung-fu.

'The Grandmaster' is the often told story of Ip Man, the legendary kung-fu master of wing chun and mentor of Bruce Lee. Wong focuses on the war years of his life and his relationship with Gong Er, played by Zhang Ziyi. The film, therefore, is a blend of Wong's love and whimsy mixed with kung-fu fighting.

Now, he's done this before with 'Ashes of Time', a film that's not his best, but stands up well alongside his others. 'The Grandmaster', however maybe struggles to keep up the pace. Like 'My Blueberry Nights', 'The Grandmaster' is exquisite to look at, with shots as good as any post-Nujabes Japanese hip hop video you'll find on YouTube. But for the, this maybe where the problems lie. Beautiful shots do not necessarily a great kung-fu film make, often finding that the over-angular nature of the camerawork detracts from viewing the fight scenes. I don't necessarily think of 'Ashes of Time' as a kung-fu film, just a good film, but with 'The Grandmaster' focusing so much on kung-fu, it maybe suggests that Wong isn't a master of the kung-fu genre.

With the cast including many big names, including Wong regulars, the acting is strong and characters are a definite step up from 'My Blueberry Nights'. As indeed is the script, with many of the life questions and lessons reminiscent of his films of the Nineties. But there are just certain moments that hurt the film. The train station battle between Gong Er and Ma San is, at times, a little over-the-top and slightly comical, out of sync with the rest of the film. Indeed it's probably the kung-fu fighting that lets the film down here. The philosophy behind the martial arts is present, but while this is a good-looking action film, it's not always an exhilarating one.

'The Grandmaster' is somewhat of a return to form for Wong Kar-wai, though it's probably no coincidence that his last three films since 2000's 'In the Mood for Love' have probably been his worst. Maybe it's his departure from working with cinematographer Christopher Doyle, but perhaps it's his attempts at the new: a sequel, an English-language film and now a kung-fu film, suggesting Wong is not a jack-of-all-trades, but a grandmaster of one.

Politic 25

NOISES I HERE!!!

Slit of Cloud - DJ Krush and Akira Sakata
No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn - Beastie Boys
You Can't Fade Me / JD's Gaffilin' - Ice Cube
Get Lifted - Keith Murray
Figure of Speech - K.M.D.
Automated Life Machines- Fat Jon
Move Slow - New Flesh and Beans (for dinner?!)
Pieces of a Man - Gil Scott Heron
Innervisions - DJ Cam
Pretense - DJ Krush
Black Satin (on the Corner) - Miles Davis and DJ Krush
Beats - DJ Shadow and DJ Krush
Spiritual Prayer - Sugizo and DJ Krush
Univearth - DJ Krush and Tetsuro Naito
Darkrun - Anchorsong
Cutting the Edge - Anchorsong
Mental Invasion - DJ Cam
Dandelion - Michita, Hisomi-TNP and Meiso
クモリナキアメ - Michita and Meiso 
Fazers - King Geedorah

Every 14 Days...(23)

Chronicle of a Death Foretold (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

Second attempt at a Gabriel Garcia Marquez short novel and a much better experience this time around.

Written from the perspective of a returning townsfolk, it follows people's recollections of a murder in the village following a wedding at which the whole village was involved. Patchy details follow as the protagonist tries to uncover the story of what happened to his friend that day, with the more he discovers, the more he finds that everyone knew the murder was about to happen and simply stood by as the situation unfolded.

With the murderers obvious and known by all, the real discovery is of how the village murdered Santiago Nasar, with everybody knowing, everybody speaking, but nobody acting in an indictment of the realities of community spirit.

Days to read: 7

Days per book: 15.0

Stalin Ate my Homework (Alexei Sayle)

I've been meaning to read this for quite some time and recently decided to get off my arse and do it. Now, I'm not a Jewish Communist Scouser, but now I feel like I know what it would be to be one.  This autobiography focuses on his school years up to the age of eighteen, but is as much a story about his formative years as it is the changing political face of the Britain and mainland Europe.

This is a memoir full of subtle comedy, the politics of his eccentric parents and various travels to Eastern Europe during the Soviet years, with exotic summer holidays to Czechoslovakia and Lake Balaton in Hungary.

To be honest, I was probably wanting to read this to get tales of 'The Young Ones' and the rise alternative comedy in the Seventies and Eighties - the clue was in the title that this is not what you would get. But, my foolish expectations aside, this is a very good read by an important figure in Twentieth Century British comedy.

Days to read: 14

Days per book: 15.0

Of Love and other Demons (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

This was another short and cheap purchase, deigned to get my 'days per book' average down, as well as try another Gabriel Garcia Marquez short novel. Again he looks at a victim of local community, with a young girl shunned by everybody, including her parents, after being bitten by a rabid dog, made to live with slaves before being imprisoned within a convent. Soon, everyone deems her possessed, rather than suffering from illness. The priest tasked with exorcising her demons is the one of the few to sympathise with her condition.

This sits very nicely alongside 'Chronicle of a Death Foretold', acting as a criticism of modernised living and the complexity of morality within a wider community. What is right and wrong has been predetermined by religion social convention, with few prepared to question it, instead falling in-line with the group and failing to think for themselves.

Days to read: 12

Days per book: 15.0

Strange Weather in Tokyo (Hiromi Kawakami)

This was a book I felt almost compelled to purchase, falling victim, as I was, to Internet search engine Nazis, forcing suggestions up my urethral opening (no casual racism terms here). Based on my reading of Murakamis of all varieties, I had this piece of modern, popularist Japanese literature on my laptop screen on a regular basis, even more than vulgar, graphic images!

A quote from some magazine or other (Monocle) on the back cover talks of how this 'paints perfectly the lightness and delicacy of modern Tokyo.' This is indeed true. There are many images of Tokyo that one can have in their mind, but one that will be present is the very clean, minimalist, chic, stylised view of modern, professional society. Surface-level cool, with designer brands and Michelin-star restaurants. It's very much a Western image of Tokyo that you are likely to find in Hollywood movies. This 'love story' fits in to this image of a utopian world in the Far East.

Tsukiko, a middle-aged singleton develops a nightly binge-drinking relationship with her former school teacher, the obviously-now-much-older 'Sensei'. The more they drink together, the more they grow close, but their history, age and social convention prevent anything from ever really happening. And that is largely that.

One word for this is definitely 'light', there is nothing too deep here, never getting fully under the skin of the characters, being a nice read, but maybe ultimately a little annoying for it. The Japanese title of 'Sensei no kaban' ('Teacher's Briefcase') is much more intriguing as to some of the more hidden elements in the story.

This is light and clean, but needs some more of the grime of the city streets.

Days to read: 12

Days per book: 14.9