Tuesday 31 January 2012

Shed A Tear Instrumental (Lewis Parker)

Lewis Parker's instrumental version of 'Shed A Tear' from the album 'Rise'. Photos taken one cold winter's morn by the astro turf pitches on Market Road, Islington

Sunday 8 January 2012

Violent Director

Imagine Noel Edmonds was one of the most respected film directors in the country, his films travelling well across the world, winning awards along the way…Now, wipe up your vomit and imagine that the Japanese equivalent does actually exist. Kitano Takeshi, he of ‘Takeshi’s Castle’ fame, switches his life and career between stand-up comedy, prime time light entertainment television – in which people get their rings penetrated – and acting and directing in cinema.


These multiple personalities have created Kitano Takeshi, the auteur, and ‘Beat’ Takeshi, the celebrity. Widely explored, most notably in Abe Casio’s ‘‘Beat’ Takeshi vs. Kitano Takeshi’, he has been able to effectively live both lives for over two decades. With his TV personality earning mainly national fame in his native Japan, he is most known globally for his film career, despite what endless repeats on ‘Challenge TV’ may suggest.


Like all great things that were created by accident: penicillin, plastic, vulcanised rubber (that won’t perish), post-it notes, Kitano’s introduction to directing was more out of circumstance than choice. Having spent many years acting in films, most notably ‘Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence’ alongside David ‘I’m Australian’ Bowie, he was cast as the lead in the delightfully English-titled ‘Violent Cop’.

With the original director, ‘Battle Royal’ helmsman Kinji Fukusaku, having creative differences with its star, Kitano took over the role of director as well as lead. Unlike his subsequent films which he wrote himself, the film has a much clearer plot and structure than most of his work. A quite formulaic storyline about an unconventional, old-school detective that seeks revenge after being dismissed from his duties for being too reckless, Kitano stamps his style all over this, with still camerawork and lengthy shots of actors face-on.


Much of the violence takes place just off-screen, making the imagination more devastating than anything a film can create, with some quite intense moments throughout. Here we see a man eager to unleash all the ideas he has been waiting for the chance to create, with much more to follow.


His next film signalled very much the start of the ‘Beat’ Takeshi period of his career. From here, all films he directed were written himself, as well as edited, with Kitano as the lead in many. ‘Boiling Point’, a Japanese baseball reference to the ‘crunch’ point in a game, was the start of a playful period in his work. His next few films largely involved beaches, boozing, sexual exploits and general dicking about for dicking about’s sake.

‘Boiling Point’ is a film that has two clear parts. The first half is quite slow, with some moments of subtle humour around an amateur baseball team and their overzealous, ex-yakuza coach. With the yakuza muscling in, two teammates decide to go to Okinawa in order to buy a gun to exact revenge for the beating of their coach. This mainly seems like an excuse to go to Okinawa to have a laugh more than anything.

The second half of the film soon livens as ‘Beat’ Takeshi comes in with an absolute bastard of a character that provides the weaponry for them. Drinking, cavorting and raping secretaries soon follows, before we soon discover that the whole thing is the mere fantasy of a bored baseball player taking a dump.

‘Boiling Point’ is complete gibberish. There is little in the way of structure of plot here, with random acts of violence and comedy coming in here, there and everywhere. But this is thoroughly entertaining gibberish with good comic timing and it is not to be taken seriously. It’s just a friendly game of baseball.


Perhaps the most significant thing about ‘Scene at the Sea’, his next film, is that it marked the first collaboration between Kitano and Joe Hisaishi on the soundtrack. While not the best work Hisaishi has produced – nor Kitano for that matter – future collaborations would see his work for Kitano’s films  up alongside those of Miyazaki Hayao as some of his best works.

Deaf couple, blah blah; one wants to surf, blah blah; enters competitions and earns respect of his peers, blah and following blah. Actually, I’m being harsh; there are some interesting moments here, though nowhere near as interesting as his other work.

One of only a small number of his films in which he didn’t feature, this is one often missed when discussing his films. Well, no guns are fired!


‘Boiling Point for the Mature’, or ‘Sonatine’ as it’s known, followed next and is a maturing in Kitano’s abilities as a film-maker. A successful yakuza gang are sent to Okinawa from Tokyo by their organisation in order to help an affiliate involved in a local squabble. However, it soon becomes apparent that it is a set-up, and the gang have to hide out on a remote beach while waiting the inevitable.

This leads to a similar scenario to ‘Boiling Point’ of dicking about in the sun. Though techniques deployed here are much more creative and interesting, and more purposeful. The soundtrack also features some great work from Joe Hisaishi and is a vast improvement from ‘A Scene at the Sea’. More and more of the unique traits that would appear in his later films start to develop here also, expertly combining violence, comedy, play and retribution in the art of cinema.


‘Blip’ could be an easy way to sum-up ‘Getting Any?’: Kitano’s first attempt at a comedy film. But being that this is so bad, it almost feels worthy of comment, more so than any two-star rated movie. The ironic thing here is that Kitano’s first comedy – one of two he has so far made – is his funny film.

All of his films have a sense of humour, obvious being his career started in stand-up, though much of his humour has been subtle and often relief to a serious point. The TV character of ‘Beat’ Takeshi has taken over here, with many of the gags more suited to TV sketch shows or sit-coms than cinema.

Kitano is naturally funny and so doesn’t need to try too hard to be. So when he does try, the results are over-egged, confused and leave the viewer not getting any.


‘Getting Any?’ probably marked the end of ‘Beat’ Takeshi’s role in Kitano’s films, with his next few works taking a much more personal approach. This is furthered by a scooter accident that left him hospitalised after the film was made, killing the suicidal tendencies that had been apparent in his previous works. ‘Kids Return’ is semi-autobiographical about two former school friends that meet in later life, having learnt that the adult world isn’t so great after all; one now a failed amateur boxer, the other a failed yakuza.

Set in a similar district of Tokyo to that of where Kitano grew up, while the leads are not a direct reference to his own life, there are numerous side characters that are followed alongside them, such as a stand-up duo trying to make it big, with obvious reference to the early stages of his career. All learn that life after school is not so great, finding a corrupt, unfriendly and harsh environment before them. It could be taken very much as an inspiration for many Miike Takashi works, looking at the lost innocence of youth.

There is still plenty of dicking about to be had in this film, probably one of his more comedic, though there is more of a tragedy about the characters here, rather than the death-coveting protagonists of previous films. It feels more mature than his first films, as his career moved into adulthood.


His scooter accident had left his already-twitching face part paralysed. While recovering, he took to one of his other passions, painting, and painted a series of interesting pieces that would form a large part of his next film, ‘Hana-bi’.


Quite simply, ‘Hana-bi’ is the greatest work in cinema, for me, anyway. A very introspective piece, here Kitano blends violence, comedy and drama to perfection. The unusual artwork adds beautifully to the story, along with the brilliant soundtrack by Joe Hisaishi, showing a new blossoming of life. Translating as ‘Fireworks’, the hyphenating of the Japanese title in Roman characters reads as ‘flower-fire’, adding to the endless ways of interpreting the film. When first watching at 18, I didn’t quite understand the film on first viewing, but the more times I watch it, the more I see in it each time.

His best written, best edited, perhaps most humorous and by far best acted – particularly by Kitano himself, whose performance seems to have an air of reality within it – this is film-making of the highest order, with every single aspect seemingly thoughtfully considered and carried out. After years of violence in his films, this is the flower that bloomed from the fire.


After the semi-autobiography of ‘Kids Return’ and the introspective natures of ‘Hana-bi’, ‘Kikujiro’ continued a trilogy of more personal films from the director. Here, a young boy, living with his grandmother, wants to go see him mother, whom he hasn’t seen for some years, in another town, after finding his friends have left the city for the summer. In need of a chaperon, the useless yakuza husband of his neighbour is enlisted to see him along the way.

A road movie that ends with the obvious premise of ‘a boy that goes in search of his mother and finds a father’, the two gradually bond as the journey progresses. Using elements of play seen in ‘Sonatine’, there are a lot of scenes of nothingness here, shooting mini-stage performances within the film. Comedy is the key element within the film, with the hapless yakuza trying to cheer up his heartbroken young companion. Kitano again gives a strong performance, playing the fool throughout.

Playing the titular character, throughout the film he is referred to as ‘Mister’ by the boy, though introduces himself as Kikujiro at the film’s climax: the name of Kitano’s father. Documented that he perhaps did not always have the best relationship with his father, ‘Kikujiro’ serves as Kitano’s tribute to him, childlike in much of its content, celebrating what a parent-child relationship should be, if massively unconventional at times.


You’ve been a successful director in Asia, so now you have to go to Hollywood and make a crap film. However, unlike others (Jon Woo, Wong Kar-wai, etc.), Kitano’s move to America was still very much a Japanese production. ‘Brother’, an English title that can work on a few levels (yakuza hierarchy, African-American affection, being someone’s actual brother), is a film about a soon to be exiled yakuza, who chooses to visit his younger brother in America rather than join a rival organisation. On arriving in LA, he finds that the brother he sent to be a student is a small-time drug dealer. Unable to learn new tricks, the yakuza soon muscles in on his younger brother’s business, uniting the black and Japanese gangs in LA to destroy the Mexicans.

Working with some fish-out-of-water jokes to start, the film soon becomes an all-out gun-toting film, with violence taking over. It’s hardly a film that serves to effectively comment on cultural differences between Japan and black America (though does do a better job of crossing Asian and African-American cultures than the stereotypes of ‘Romeo Must Die’), with some awkwardly-played pieces at the start. Kitano and Miike regulars are combined with some black cinema ‘favourites’, such as Omar Epps and Tatyana M. Ali, showing that this is a film geared more to a Japanese audience than American.

After the more sombre films that preceded it, ‘Brother’ is a bit of a filler piece, perhaps designed to expand to an American market for the director. This is definitely a younger brother to his earlier yakuza works that were more original and creative, though there is definitely a greater structure and progression here. Much like a Hollywood film, easy to watch, but nowhere near as rewarding, this is towards the bottom end of Kitano’s film hierarchy.


‘Dolls’, Kitano’s next film, is probably his most unusual, in both that its style is unique from most films out there, as well as within his own body of work. To start, there is no comedy in the film whatsoever and violence is kept to a minimum, and it is one of the few films in which he doesn’t star.

Starting with a haunting bunraku performance by some master puppeteers, the film goes on the tell three stories of hopeless love. Feeling like a film made for television screens, there is an unusual feel throughout the entire film, feeling more fairy tale than stories of modern love.

The main story of the ‘bound beggars’ allows for some beautiful shots, combined with Joe Hisaishi’s excellent soundtrack adding to the melancholy. ‘Dolls’ was the final film in a consistent run of Kitano works that look at different relationships, coming after the more violent and carefree films of the start of his directing career: ‘Kids Return’, school friends; ‘Hana-bi’, work colleagues; ‘Kikujiro’, father-son; ‘Brother’, brothers; and ‘Dolls’, lovers. His next five films would see a more self-aware approach to his film-making.


‘Zatoichi’ is the only Kitano film that I have seen in a cinema and is perhaps his most mainstream offering. Released in the UK at a similar time to the ‘Kill Bill’ films, obvious comparisons were made, and audiences were probably increased as a result. There is more of a story to the film and a more mainstream style to the film-making. The use of dance sequences gives a light-hearted feel and the comedy more accessible than his usual subtle brand in his films.

A cast with bigger names than his usual work, such as Asano Tadanobu, adds to this feeling more of a crowd-pleaser in parts. Violence is much more visible here, rather than being out of shot or unseen, with the use of special effects for the sword fights to create a blood-bath.

The least art-house of his films, there is much more to entertain and it works for Kitano here, providing a film that I easy to watch and pleasing. However, this more mainstream success was short-lived, with his next film only getting a very limited release in the UK before going to DVD and the subsequent three films yet to be released in the UK.


Kitano himself describes three personas within him: ‘Beat’ Takeshi the media star; Kitano Takeshi the director; and a third personality controlling the both as a puppet master. In ‘Takeshis’’ he explores the concept of two personas existing within the same reality, with much of the cast performing two roles throughout to each of the co-existing Takeshis: One, a famous film star and director; the other a middle-class convenience store worker with dreams of being an actor. The two lives cross on a number of occasions, with parallels being drawn between the two.

Kitano had reportedly planned the film for many years, and so the film was years in the making. Pretty much all the cast had featured in a Kitano film at some stage, and so ‘Takeshis’’ serves as an overly-ambitious magnum opus to his career. However, with taking many years to conceive and looking at differing personalities within the man himself, a lot of the symbolism is hard to understand and it can often prove a confusing film to watch.

Teetering between genius and madness, this, along with ‘Getting Any?’ and ‘Banzai’, feels like a film made by the ‘Beat’ Takeshi persona, feeling like a series of randomly thrown together sketches and performances with a difficult to grasp grand narrative. However, it is a thoroughly watchable and intriguing film, though maybe one only for Kitano die-hards.


After a film looking at his own split-personality, he then made a film taking an ironic look at his career as a director. ‘Banzai: Glory to the Film-Maker’ is a mishmash of phantom Kitano films, looking at different styles and genres of film-making, as a director struggles to get over writer’s block, though it ends in a strange and confusing mess similar to that of ‘Getting Any?’

The film is rather self-indulgent, giving him the chance to play with lots of different roles and styles, mocking both himself and others. The mini-segments of his previous ‘films’ are short and often uninteresting, and though while sometimes intentional, it does not make for great viewing.

It can be said to be a critique of the Japanese cinema industry, looking at various points throughout, with the failed ending a metaphor for the future of Japanese cinema now the ideas have run dry. Whether you can stand to sit through close to two hours of messy film-making to get to that point is up to you?


‘Achilles and the Tortoise’, Kitano’s next film, again featured his own unique brand of artwork as a prominent feature. Here, the life of a struggling artist is portrayed as he continually strives to get his work noticed to no avail.

The artwork here is nowhere near as powerful and effective as in ‘Hana-bi’, though much of it is intended for humorous purposes in what is an enjoyable and entertaining film.

Though that may be the problem with Kitano’s later works: more decent efforts than the challenging masterpieces he created in the Nineties. Today’s Kitano has a lot to do to catch up with his former self.


His last completed film to date is ‘Outrage’, a return to the yakuza genre, a film in which he researched the yakuza thoroughly before writing, so a Japanese guy I met at Hong Kong Airport informs me. Like ‘Achilles and the Tortoise’ before it, it is a solid effort, and is perhaps his most cinematic work to date, feeling much more grand and Hollywood in parts.

The plot gets a little absurd, laughable even, in parts, but moves along at a steady pace and is not too taxing watch, following a similar theme to his previous films of a yakuza group being set-up by those on high, leading to their inevitable demise.

This doesn’t feel as creative or intriguing as his earlier works, though maybe this is a sign of the times as his career reaches two decades and trends and fame change. But, like it or not, this is really just a steady work, pushing few real boundaries and doing little to cause any outrage in the cinematic world.


In the same way that Kitano described three personalities that feature throughout his career, his career has taken on three clear stages over the two decades he has been writing and directing films.

His first five films were often a hangover from his ‘Beat’ Takeshi TV personality, often featuring manic and suicidal characters, chasing death to cure their own madness. His films were violent, lacking any real structure or plotline, but were raw and aggressive in a way to challenge the audience from their comfort zone. The death of this phase came with the awful ‘Getting Any?’ and his scooter accident, seemingly putting an end to the suicidal nature within himself, as well as his characters.

Next came a series of more introspective and personal works, analysing various relationships between different sets of people. Perhaps the strongest period in his career, these five films cemented him as an art-house director throughout the world, with numerous awards won. His films were complex and thought-provoking and celebrated life, rather than craved its end.


What came next was a period of self-indulgence in his films, with two works designed for himself as much as anyone. He seemed to look at his own personality complex, as well as his body of work, and put to bed both the ‘Beat’ Takeshi persona and Kitano Takeshi the auteur. What has followed is a more mainstream form of film-making, neither particularly challenging nor aggressive. This is compounded by the fact his next work is the sequel to ‘Outrage’, showing a less artistic approach in attempt to cash-in on a potentially successful genre.

It is likely that this is the route his career will now take, as he gets older and more settled, with the physical and mental violence ever decreasing from his film-making.

Thursday 5 January 2012

Every 14 Days...(7)

Talking Cock (Richard Herring)

‘Hello, I’m a spitting penis…’ No, that’s not how this book reads. Nor did I read the hardback edition. Oh, the endless cock-based puns. Thankfully, ‘Talking Cock’ isn’t 296 pages of knob gags. The first 50 or so pages are, but beyond that it gets relatively more serious…sort of.

A result of his stand-up (ho ho) show of the same name which was a male answer to the ‘Vagina Monologues’, ‘Talking Cock’ is my favourite talking cock, Richard Herring’s, first book. Presenting the findings of his large cock (ho ho) survey, this is a semi (ho ho) academic look at all aspects of the phallus, from circumcision to the Prince Albert. Some of the thousands of responses given in the survey are quite alarming, as well as downright funny, such as the man who inserted his penis into a toilet roll spoon-filled with jelly; making the poor sap that inserted his into a jelly-less toilet roll seem quite unadventurous.  

Reading mainly on public transport, made this quite an embarrassing read, with little cocks drawn in the corner of each page, as well as huge wangs popping up (ho ho) here and there. Thankfully, this is more than just a crap, novelty humour book, and can stand up (ho ho again) as a good read all on its own.

Days to read: 12
Days per book: 16


1Q84: Books I, II and III (Murakami Haruki)

Murakami’s latest work to arrive in English is a three-part epic set in the Orwellian year of the title. At around a thousand pages combined, it is not the easiest of reads, telling the story through two, and later three, characters in alternate chapters.

The plot(s) thus: to start, we are introduced to the story of Aomame, a female assassin, hired to kill paedophiles and wife-beaters by a rich, aging woman, that she is also a personal trainer for; seemingly unconnected, the parallel story is that of Tengo, a Maths teacher and ghost-writer, asked to re-write an intriguing novel by an unusual 17 year old girl. As the book progresses, gradually the two stories converge into one as the connections between the two become more and more clear.

Two things become clear early on: a) this resembles two of Murakami’s best works in ‘Kafka on the Shore’ (parallel stories and converging) and ‘Wind-up Bird Chronicle’ (dividing the book into three parts); and b) this is a long book that maybe doesn’t need to be quite so. While the story is good and initially very intriguing, he has done similar books previously and better. 1Q84 is a book that requires a lot of effort, but is not as rewarding as some of his other works. The writing style doesn’t flow as well as in his other works either, more so in Book III, translated by Philip Gabriel rather than Jay Rubin, where there is a lot of repetition within the text.

This is, however, still a worthy edition to his oeuvre; it just doesn’t need to feel like it took twenty-eight years to read.

Book I
Days to read: 21
Days per book: 16.2

Book II
Days to read: 22
Days per book: 16.4

Book III
Days to read: 13
Days per book: 16.3


It’s been just over a year (26/11/10) since I began this failed experiment, attempting to read a book every two weeks. So far, I should have completed 29 books, though currently I am resting on 25 since beginning, taking just over two extra days on average to complete a book than my target. With 2012 providing new promises of Olympic failure, I hope to rein in those two extra days over the next twelve months…Next up, Spot the Dog and the Mr Men Collection.

Tuesday 3 January 2012

Mr Parker's Siesta


Much in the same way that everyone is sucking Scott Parker’s cock, saying he is the best in the England, Lewis Parker for me is the king of beats in the UK. While not the best rapper, he certainly knows how to make good music, producing for some of the better rappers in the UK. Here are 10 of my favourite beats by Mr Parker…

Blood – Lewis Parker

Great Wonders – Lewis Parker

Shed A Tear – Lewis Parker

No Escape – Lewis Parker

Eyes of Dreams – Lewis Parker

101 Pianos (I’ve Put out the Light) – Lewis Parker

Vision of Splendour – Lewis Parker

Zero – Klashnekoff

Give It Here – Jehst

The Clouds Open – Lewis Parker